Cecil Gershwin Palmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
goodnightdearlisteners) wrote2013-09-22 02:24 am
goodnightdearlisteners) wrote2013-09-22 02:24 am
Broadcast 1 - Tu Shanshu
The past is in the past. The future is in the future. The worms might be in your body. Welcome...to Nigh- to the Turtle.
[There are a few notes that sound...rather like a xylophone, poorly played - and then the voice begins speaking again.]
I hope I'm reaching all of you fine listeners all right. I understand that this...is a new thing, this radio station. And to many of you, I am a new voice. So to start, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Cecil! I've been a radio host for some time back in my hometown of Night Vale, and I am happy to - for now - be your radio host here. I'm here to read you the news. We have a lot of news saved up! Soooooo, without further ado, today's stories:
We are all living on top of a giant turtle. Right now, there is a gigantic, living, and breathing creature - right there, under your feet. Or talons. Or paws. And hey! That's pretty great, isn't it? But there are a few things we all need to know about our shelled friend.
For starters - this realm isn't the only one! Duh. I mean, it seems pretty obvious, when you think about it. I mean, we all came from other places, didn't we? And hey - this isn't the biggest turtle I've ever seen. You have to know there are others, right? Well, I am here to tell you that Dreaming and Death are, apparently, both realms that exist. A mainland, too! And there are other cities! Recently, Asti - you know, the turtle? - popped down underwater to visit with Sinbrilee. Which - apparently - was a city populated by ghosts. Ghosts who can throw a great party! Many of you enjoyed this party, I'm sure, and I would love to hear about it, as I was not there and cannot comment on what it was like.
Now, Tu Vishan is surrounded by a barrier. And I don't like to be a Debbie Downer, buuuut...barriers keep things OUT. Like the Jiangshi! Which are, basically, zombies. We all know what a zombie is, right? I'm also told that there are Llothi and Daemids, which...do not sound like fun conversational companions. Well, maybe the Daemids, if they mimic a good conversation! But that is a long shot. I probably wouldn't risk it, but hey! That's just me.
We've also got a few key players here that I have been told I should mention. There's Eshai - our lovely emperor! She did the magic that brought us here. Now, listeners, let me tell you...I know a little bit of magic. Standard issue magic, much like plenty of you know, I'm sure. Magic big enough to bring us here? And possibly to have created some of our Kedan neighbors? That. Is. Impressive.
Then there's Evandeau! Big, strong commander! You really have to respect that kind of thing. No, really, you have to. You wouldn't want to get in trouble with the Secret Police.
Last one I've been told to mention for now is Lieuen. He's the richest merchant around, and he's...apparently a very nice guy. Good for him! In a place like this, it's important to be nice. We can all learn from him. And how nice he apparently is.
Now.
There is a being, citizens. A being who has a name that we cannot speak or utter or communicate in any form. I've encountered beings one must not speak of before. I've spoken about them. I've learned MY lesson - vicariously through the intern who was vaporized directly in front of me. I can't...tell you who I'm talking about. I can, however, tell you that you can refer to it as...Mally.
Next, let's touch on a delicate topic. We are all clones! Yes, that is a thing. More on that later in the broadcast.
Jobs. Everyone needs one, and you may be asking yourself - where can I get one? How? Well, folks, I am here to tell you that it is actually very easy to find work around here. Go work on a farm! Find a Kedan to assist! Lots of them need your help, and lots of them do NOT hate that you are here. Help keep the turtle clean, maybe. Fish! Care for livestock! Be a courier! There's lots to be done, dear listeners, and who can do it?
You.
So! Back to the whole "we are all clones" thing. Anonymous tips from a scientist.... [His voice actually hitches for a second. He then continues.] ...Have told us that, yes, we are clones. If you check the radio console network, just as soon as you can break away from my dulcet tones, you will find some information about the whole thing, provided by our very own Clark Kent.
Now, the cloning is not a perfect science. There is the chance - and I'm just reading the copy, folks, I haven't decided what I believe yet - that Eshai figured that most of us were going to die. Apparently, there was a cloning facility that was destroyed that some of you may have been grown in. More of us came, though, so there are, clearly, more facilities out there! Also, Eshai says so. Jury is out on whether we would all stop coming if all of them got destroyed - we will report more on all this as we find it out.
Feeling a little confused about knowing you're a clone? Don't know how to cope? Well, rest assured that while these might not be our original bodies, these are our original minds. So it's you! Just a you made up of separate but identical atoms from the old one.
My sources say that some turtle eggs were found down in Sinbrilee. Eggs! Baby giant turtles! Isn't that cute? Some of you out there have some of these little guys - so here are just a few reminders about how to take care of them, furnished by one of our resident dragons:
Keep it warm! Not hot, not cold. Blankets will be juuuust fine. Don't move it around too much, and talk to it! You'd be lonely, stuck in an eggshell with no one paying attention to you, right? Maybe play it some music! Read it a story! These are intelligent creatures, and if you give them a good chance, they might not grow up to be jerks.
Back to the entity mentioned earlier in the cast, who will always be referred to as Mally. We've already touched upon how you should not. Say. The full. Name. Evandeau has launched a few missions against him, and even after, it seems like people are still trying to ally with him. Even some of us foreigners! And someone has said Mally's real name, so he WALKS AMONG US. He is ON THE TURTLE.
Listeners, Mally is bad. News. Do not ally with him. Do not communicate with him.
Do not. Talk. About Mally.
And now....the weather.
[The broadcast falls silent...until a squeaking, halting sound of some kind of wind instrument comes over the speakers. Cecil is playing it. He has no idea how to play it. This goes on for a couple of minutes before he stops, pants a little, and resumes speaking.]
Just a couple more parting notes for this maiden broadcast:
The consoles do NOT run on technology! They run on energy. Easy to understand, right? And the satellite - I'm told - wasn't the first technology the turtle has had. They actually had quite a bit more technology than was previously thought...and more than we even know about right now. Keep listening to our broadcasts for more information as it's handed to me on a slip of paper.
Stay tuned next for a list of people who have departed from the turtle until this point.
This is Cecil Baldwin. Good night, turtle...good night.
[There are a few notes that sound...rather like a xylophone, poorly played - and then the voice begins speaking again.]
I hope I'm reaching all of you fine listeners all right. I understand that this...is a new thing, this radio station. And to many of you, I am a new voice. So to start, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Cecil! I've been a radio host for some time back in my hometown of Night Vale, and I am happy to - for now - be your radio host here. I'm here to read you the news. We have a lot of news saved up! Soooooo, without further ado, today's stories:
We are all living on top of a giant turtle. Right now, there is a gigantic, living, and breathing creature - right there, under your feet. Or talons. Or paws. And hey! That's pretty great, isn't it? But there are a few things we all need to know about our shelled friend.
For starters - this realm isn't the only one! Duh. I mean, it seems pretty obvious, when you think about it. I mean, we all came from other places, didn't we? And hey - this isn't the biggest turtle I've ever seen. You have to know there are others, right? Well, I am here to tell you that Dreaming and Death are, apparently, both realms that exist. A mainland, too! And there are other cities! Recently, Asti - you know, the turtle? - popped down underwater to visit with Sinbrilee. Which - apparently - was a city populated by ghosts. Ghosts who can throw a great party! Many of you enjoyed this party, I'm sure, and I would love to hear about it, as I was not there and cannot comment on what it was like.
Now, Tu Vishan is surrounded by a barrier. And I don't like to be a Debbie Downer, buuuut...barriers keep things OUT. Like the Jiangshi! Which are, basically, zombies. We all know what a zombie is, right? I'm also told that there are Llothi and Daemids, which...do not sound like fun conversational companions. Well, maybe the Daemids, if they mimic a good conversation! But that is a long shot. I probably wouldn't risk it, but hey! That's just me.
We've also got a few key players here that I have been told I should mention. There's Eshai - our lovely emperor! She did the magic that brought us here. Now, listeners, let me tell you...I know a little bit of magic. Standard issue magic, much like plenty of you know, I'm sure. Magic big enough to bring us here? And possibly to have created some of our Kedan neighbors? That. Is. Impressive.
Then there's Evandeau! Big, strong commander! You really have to respect that kind of thing. No, really, you have to. You wouldn't want to get in trouble with the Secret Police.
Last one I've been told to mention for now is Lieuen. He's the richest merchant around, and he's...apparently a very nice guy. Good for him! In a place like this, it's important to be nice. We can all learn from him. And how nice he apparently is.
Now.
There is a being, citizens. A being who has a name that we cannot speak or utter or communicate in any form. I've encountered beings one must not speak of before. I've spoken about them. I've learned MY lesson - vicariously through the intern who was vaporized directly in front of me. I can't...tell you who I'm talking about. I can, however, tell you that you can refer to it as...Mally.
Next, let's touch on a delicate topic. We are all clones! Yes, that is a thing. More on that later in the broadcast.
Jobs. Everyone needs one, and you may be asking yourself - where can I get one? How? Well, folks, I am here to tell you that it is actually very easy to find work around here. Go work on a farm! Find a Kedan to assist! Lots of them need your help, and lots of them do NOT hate that you are here. Help keep the turtle clean, maybe. Fish! Care for livestock! Be a courier! There's lots to be done, dear listeners, and who can do it?
You.
So! Back to the whole "we are all clones" thing. Anonymous tips from a scientist.... [His voice actually hitches for a second. He then continues.] ...Have told us that, yes, we are clones. If you check the radio console network, just as soon as you can break away from my dulcet tones, you will find some information about the whole thing, provided by our very own Clark Kent.
Now, the cloning is not a perfect science. There is the chance - and I'm just reading the copy, folks, I haven't decided what I believe yet - that Eshai figured that most of us were going to die. Apparently, there was a cloning facility that was destroyed that some of you may have been grown in. More of us came, though, so there are, clearly, more facilities out there! Also, Eshai says so. Jury is out on whether we would all stop coming if all of them got destroyed - we will report more on all this as we find it out.
Feeling a little confused about knowing you're a clone? Don't know how to cope? Well, rest assured that while these might not be our original bodies, these are our original minds. So it's you! Just a you made up of separate but identical atoms from the old one.
My sources say that some turtle eggs were found down in Sinbrilee. Eggs! Baby giant turtles! Isn't that cute? Some of you out there have some of these little guys - so here are just a few reminders about how to take care of them, furnished by one of our resident dragons:
Keep it warm! Not hot, not cold. Blankets will be juuuust fine. Don't move it around too much, and talk to it! You'd be lonely, stuck in an eggshell with no one paying attention to you, right? Maybe play it some music! Read it a story! These are intelligent creatures, and if you give them a good chance, they might not grow up to be jerks.
Back to the entity mentioned earlier in the cast, who will always be referred to as Mally. We've already touched upon how you should not. Say. The full. Name. Evandeau has launched a few missions against him, and even after, it seems like people are still trying to ally with him. Even some of us foreigners! And someone has said Mally's real name, so he WALKS AMONG US. He is ON THE TURTLE.
Listeners, Mally is bad. News. Do not ally with him. Do not communicate with him.
Do not. Talk. About Mally.
And now....the weather.
[The broadcast falls silent...until a squeaking, halting sound of some kind of wind instrument comes over the speakers. Cecil is playing it. He has no idea how to play it. This goes on for a couple of minutes before he stops, pants a little, and resumes speaking.]
Just a couple more parting notes for this maiden broadcast:
The consoles do NOT run on technology! They run on energy. Easy to understand, right? And the satellite - I'm told - wasn't the first technology the turtle has had. They actually had quite a bit more technology than was previously thought...and more than we even know about right now. Keep listening to our broadcasts for more information as it's handed to me on a slip of paper.
Stay tuned next for a list of people who have departed from the turtle until this point.
This is Cecil Baldwin. Good night, turtle...good night.